Thanksreceiving

I did my usual rounds for the holiday, and I should note here that so many of you kept the true spirit of the holiday in mind taking time out of your doubtlessly busy schedules to personally thank me for being the shining light in your lives that I am. I want you to know that I received your thanks with all the grace and humility that you know to be an intrinsic part of my very being. I also want to specifically commend those few who took the added time to tell me about how all the rest of you are lacking in their appreciation of me. In the spirit of the holidays I will in no way condemn those meager and altogether lesser minds. Its not as if I can really expect everyone to recognize what a treasure I truly am or for that matter memorize every word I have ever written. Oftentimes I forget that my mental acuity is a blessing not shared by anyone else, and I hope that you, dear reader, can understand how difficult it is to imagine what it must be like to be you. Probably imagining what your existence is like, is like you imagining what your own existence is like, but without an arm, except if that arm always had the correct answer to every question, and also gave you the ability to fly.

I was a little bit saddened that I could not see you all, but I suppose the future solution is to hold some kind of court where visitors can be shown in, present their gifts, kiss my ring, and be hurried along. At any rate, those I did see, warmed my heart and made me regret that it will be too long until I see you again. There is only one thing worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about.

I was quite disappointed to see LSU fall again in gladiatorial contest. The team I saw perform had no right to their national placing. I believe their coach purposefully failed them as a reprisal for his inability to secure any automotive dealership sponsorship deals. But then again, would you purchase a vehicle sold on the guarantee of Les Miles?