Bottom Feeders
Shows with Top in the name are crimes against humanity. They are: America's Next Top Model, Top Chef, and Top Design. Like any other reality show, the essence of these shows is to put a bunch of whiny, backstabbing malcontents into ludicrous situations that have nothing to do with actual talent, all the while devaluing the only thing that may have any real value in this world: teamwork. In other words, watching this show is like watching my employees work. Americans have been conditioned for many years to enjoy vastly superior forms of this sort of entertainment in the form of shows I will tentatively title America's Next Top Sports Team.
Top Design has been dispensed with for being totally unwatchable. Top chef appeals to those who just cannot get enough food porn on the food network. The most deplorable part of Top Chef is of course Padma Lakshmi, who has, well, issues. She was married to Salman Rushdie for about five minutes, a man only seven years younger than her father. She describes her father as "the most sexy, manic, in-shape, lean, tall, handsome man I have ever met." Try to watch this show knowing she said this. If you can't, then I'll consider my job here done.
America's Next Top Model features a truly disturbing individual as its host: Tyra Banks. Where Padma has unresolved issues, Tyra Banks is just plain nuts. I mean that literally. You are watching the ravings of a lunatic if you watch any of her shows. You might as well take a trip down to the mental hospital and ask for a seat with a view of the padded rooms, because there is little difference. Actually there is a huge difference. ANTM also features models which in the current age are people of a body type that is a little freakish. I'm not saying I automatically hold a grudge against tall people, but there is roughly a 99% chance. I've observed that they somehow think their height entitles them to hold their noses high in the air.
Even though I enjoy even more privileges then these so called models, of which absolutely none have found any fame or fortune, I do not for one second act as though I'm entitled to them, when I'm not. I'm simply always entitled to them. These people grow up in a cocoon of kid glove treatment. I always tell the peanut butter story. Once a model "friend" of mine went to the "grocery store," but didn't bring enough money to purchase everything she wanted to buy. A man behind her, bought "peanut butter" for her. Do you see what this means? Its my little life parable. Of course, as is always the case, the friend is me. And the peanut butter was a new car. Also, I didn't so much go anywhere as it was just one of the many gifts that are daily showered upon me for being so perfect.
Top Design has been dispensed with for being totally unwatchable. Top chef appeals to those who just cannot get enough food porn on the food network. The most deplorable part of Top Chef is of course Padma Lakshmi, who has, well, issues. She was married to Salman Rushdie for about five minutes, a man only seven years younger than her father. She describes her father as "the most sexy, manic, in-shape, lean, tall, handsome man I have ever met." Try to watch this show knowing she said this. If you can't, then I'll consider my job here done.
America's Next Top Model features a truly disturbing individual as its host: Tyra Banks. Where Padma has unresolved issues, Tyra Banks is just plain nuts. I mean that literally. You are watching the ravings of a lunatic if you watch any of her shows. You might as well take a trip down to the mental hospital and ask for a seat with a view of the padded rooms, because there is little difference. Actually there is a huge difference. ANTM also features models which in the current age are people of a body type that is a little freakish. I'm not saying I automatically hold a grudge against tall people, but there is roughly a 99% chance. I've observed that they somehow think their height entitles them to hold their noses high in the air.
Even though I enjoy even more privileges then these so called models, of which absolutely none have found any fame or fortune, I do not for one second act as though I'm entitled to them, when I'm not. I'm simply always entitled to them. These people grow up in a cocoon of kid glove treatment. I always tell the peanut butter story. Once a model "friend" of mine went to the "grocery store," but didn't bring enough money to purchase everything she wanted to buy. A man behind her, bought "peanut butter" for her. Do you see what this means? Its my little life parable. Of course, as is always the case, the friend is me. And the peanut butter was a new car. Also, I didn't so much go anywhere as it was just one of the many gifts that are daily showered upon me for being so perfect.
2 Comments:
what do you think of shows like "How I Met Your Mother"?
She was married to Salman Rushdie?
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