Fall TV
So, there are TV shows. Ordinarily I don't watch television as it is totally unworthy of me but by some odd coincidence, I managed to suffer a cracked rib of some sort, that left me unable or unwilling to do anything but sit on the couch at the beginning of the new season. I've kept that little nugget of personal information all to myself because its totally inconsequential and really completely healed now.
I'll share a few details just to stave off the wave of concerned calls from everyone. I don't know how it happened, but it did. I woke up one morning and it hurt a little bit to breathe. And it really hurt to cough or laugh, and sneezing was just awful. I didn't think it was really a big deal, but it never occurred to me that it might be a rib, until I finally went to the doctor, whom I absolutely mistrust so completely. He did an x-ray, checked off the list, and told me it was probably a cracked rib. He offered to do a ct scan, but I told him I wasn't interested. I don't have time for cracked bones, especially when they can't do anything for you, which is why I totally mistrust doctors. They just can't do anything for you, except in very specific cases which aren't the type of thing that happen to people like me. Anyway, I only went to the doctor to make sure it wasn't one of those specific cases, but as soon as I knew they couldn't do anything for me, I was out of there. Let me tell you, I don't know how cracked my rib was, but its about the least painful injury I've ever sustained. I almost wished I could trade other injuries for cracked ribs.
My, I've gone on too long about that. Now, please, no calls or concern about it. If you didn't bother to worry yourself about my health when it happened, you certainly have no right to do so now.
Anyway, while it isn't very painful, I had no interest in making it worse, so that meant a great deal of sitting down and I watched a great deal of television. I saw it all, and I must say, that I have not been missing much. Whatever passes for television now is just not very good at all. But, I recognize now that it makes for shared experience in this pathetic society, and I thought that if you, my gentle readers, were to comment on your favorite television shows, I could mercilessly explain to you in plain and simple language why it is beneath even you.
I'll share a few details just to stave off the wave of concerned calls from everyone. I don't know how it happened, but it did. I woke up one morning and it hurt a little bit to breathe. And it really hurt to cough or laugh, and sneezing was just awful. I didn't think it was really a big deal, but it never occurred to me that it might be a rib, until I finally went to the doctor, whom I absolutely mistrust so completely. He did an x-ray, checked off the list, and told me it was probably a cracked rib. He offered to do a ct scan, but I told him I wasn't interested. I don't have time for cracked bones, especially when they can't do anything for you, which is why I totally mistrust doctors. They just can't do anything for you, except in very specific cases which aren't the type of thing that happen to people like me. Anyway, I only went to the doctor to make sure it wasn't one of those specific cases, but as soon as I knew they couldn't do anything for me, I was out of there. Let me tell you, I don't know how cracked my rib was, but its about the least painful injury I've ever sustained. I almost wished I could trade other injuries for cracked ribs.
My, I've gone on too long about that. Now, please, no calls or concern about it. If you didn't bother to worry yourself about my health when it happened, you certainly have no right to do so now.
Anyway, while it isn't very painful, I had no interest in making it worse, so that meant a great deal of sitting down and I watched a great deal of television. I saw it all, and I must say, that I have not been missing much. Whatever passes for television now is just not very good at all. But, I recognize now that it makes for shared experience in this pathetic society, and I thought that if you, my gentle readers, were to comment on your favorite television shows, I could mercilessly explain to you in plain and simple language why it is beneath even you.
3 Comments:
Please explain how Deal or No Deal is beneath me. Extra credit for discussing Rock of Love.
I like Heroes and programs with "top" in the name. I like BigLove too, except for the part where Greg leans over and tells me that "plural marriage is God's greatest gift to mankind." That part I could do without.
-maureen
So far, I like Life.
And ninja warrior. That is not new, just new to me.
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