I'll go back if you ask me to
I received an inquisitive phone call yesterday. I don't even want to say from whom. In all confidence, I've had one too many admonishments about names here. She,--is that revealing too much information?--bless her, just wanted to make sure that everything was alright. I had just lacquered my nails so I can't be absolutely sure what she said, and I certainly don't want to put any words into anyone's mouth, but I do distinctly remember her saying I just didn't sound myself, that she couldn't even imagine me reading this drivel, much less actually writing it. Well, maybe the word drivel wasn't actually used. That would be putting a word into someone's mouth. So, fine, its my word. But lets just be clear, I have no delusions about the content of these posts, and if the window they act as is one you, my gentle reader, would much prefer had curtains, or, dear me, at least some treatments, then I do apologize. Please consider that I might as well have just moved in and haven't had time to properly decorate. I can imagine that even now that my gentlest readers are, generous as they are, collecting darkly colored canvas and heavy broadcloth to fashion the aforementioned treatments as a gift to me. Please do not misunderstand me. I apologize for the view, but the window shall, for some time anyway, remain, bare.
She and you: all these pronouns are tiring to me, but I made a promise, and of course I will keep it. She asked about the musing, the introspection, and I had, and still have no real response. Didn't I mention the leaf I was overturning? Perhaps I should have identifed it as Manicaria saccifera which the all powerful seeing eye identifies as a candidate for the world's largest. Between fluttering my newly-lacquered nails I assured her, and now you also, not to worry. Of course it is right that you should. There may one day be a government agency tasked with that desirable work and it will enlist you my gentle readers for guidance. I'm probably a bit too fearless to provide reasonable and accurate direction for such an agency, but of course it will remain up to me whether to take its advice or not.
I imagine my real worry is that somehow this window has scared you all away. That this is not the me you know and love with all your hearts and minds, and in truth it is not. We must all keep a part of ourselves apart and if I choose to lay that part bare it must be a bit frightening for those of you not nearly as fearless as myself. But is there some way that I can reassure you that it is truly me reaching out to you through this awkward medium? She advised more comfortable topics concerning Rocky, or my double A bundles of joy, Alexandra and Andrew, and I'm sure such topics will make appearances. A bit of introspection is fitting on the eve of a 10 year reunion, though. I don't think I'll ever truly surpass Mr. Hughes as that towns most famous resident, but I am immeasurably fantastic, a world class wildcat to be sure.
She and you: all these pronouns are tiring to me, but I made a promise, and of course I will keep it. She asked about the musing, the introspection, and I had, and still have no real response. Didn't I mention the leaf I was overturning? Perhaps I should have identifed it as Manicaria saccifera which the all powerful seeing eye identifies as a candidate for the world's largest. Between fluttering my newly-lacquered nails I assured her, and now you also, not to worry. Of course it is right that you should. There may one day be a government agency tasked with that desirable work and it will enlist you my gentle readers for guidance. I'm probably a bit too fearless to provide reasonable and accurate direction for such an agency, but of course it will remain up to me whether to take its advice or not.
I imagine my real worry is that somehow this window has scared you all away. That this is not the me you know and love with all your hearts and minds, and in truth it is not. We must all keep a part of ourselves apart and if I choose to lay that part bare it must be a bit frightening for those of you not nearly as fearless as myself. But is there some way that I can reassure you that it is truly me reaching out to you through this awkward medium? She advised more comfortable topics concerning Rocky, or my double A bundles of joy, Alexandra and Andrew, and I'm sure such topics will make appearances. A bit of introspection is fitting on the eve of a 10 year reunion, though. I don't think I'll ever truly surpass Mr. Hughes as that towns most famous resident, but I am immeasurably fantastic, a world class wildcat to be sure.
2 Comments:
I love it when you call us "gentle readers."
If you're feeling lucky with the all seeing eye, you'll read that "with these words the...author would self-consciously remind readers that what they were reading had been written by somebody who wished to guide them through the text." Yes, I'm shaking my head up and down. That is just about right.
Or you might have a well thumbed June 1934 issue of The Atlantic Monthly lying around, in which case you know "An ordinary reader sits up at night to 'finish' a book. A gentle reader becomes so much a part of his book that he dreads the moment when it will be finished. An ordinary reader would think you mad if you suggested that he read the same book twice. A gentle reader, if he loves a book, loves it more and more on the second, the fifth, or the twentieth reading"
Or you might just recognize it as the salutation of one Judith Martin, who I think, if she had it to do over, would strive more to model her life after my own.
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