Blue Light
Its no secret how easily I bruise. Oh, people are always chalking it up to some iron deficiency, but the truth is I'm just delicate. I'm always in danger of a contusion in this rough and tumble world, and too often I must soothe myself with a piece of ice. I can't go about covered in bruises, like some needy beaten-wife. Well, today an acquaintance--seeing me delicately holding a cube to my calf after some nameless, but indescribably careless individual left a lower file cabinet open--sensed a void in my life, and recommended a reusable ice cube. Of course, my delicacy cannot stand a whole ice pack, but I've never heard of a reusable individual ice cube.
Frankly it sounds disgusting considering what one normally uses an ice cube for, namely drinks. This acquaintance however, assures me that its really the perfect thing for my little first aid requirements, and I can't help but see the logic in it. I'm forever dealing with the mess of water as the ice cube melts. To be honest, I've never been thrilled with the idea of common water touching my skin, but I discontinued importing Perrier by the truck load when, in an epiphany, I realized its jackass spelled backwards.
Here's the disappointing caveat: apparently, the place to purchase this quaint little idea is Kmart. Now I can understand that this little invention is the province of, well, whoever it is that shops at Kmart. They probably do use it in their drinks. So now, I'll need to find a Kmart, and then find some of these products inside of that Kmart, purchase them, and then somehow wipe the whole experience from my mind. I don't even know what to expect, but I imagine there are beggars inside of the store with garish blue revolving lights spinning everywhere and maybe klaxons to go with them. In other words, as little Owen said: "scariest environment imaginable."
I wish I could bring a trusted friend with me inside of the store with whom I'd feel protected, but I doubt Rocky will fit through the aisles. You can see, dear reader, why I need a butler, or some kind of man-servant. I'll try to treat it as an adventure, but if you don't hear from me in a week's time, send help, please.
Frankly it sounds disgusting considering what one normally uses an ice cube for, namely drinks. This acquaintance however, assures me that its really the perfect thing for my little first aid requirements, and I can't help but see the logic in it. I'm forever dealing with the mess of water as the ice cube melts. To be honest, I've never been thrilled with the idea of common water touching my skin, but I discontinued importing Perrier by the truck load when, in an epiphany, I realized its jackass spelled backwards.
Here's the disappointing caveat: apparently, the place to purchase this quaint little idea is Kmart. Now I can understand that this little invention is the province of, well, whoever it is that shops at Kmart. They probably do use it in their drinks. So now, I'll need to find a Kmart, and then find some of these products inside of that Kmart, purchase them, and then somehow wipe the whole experience from my mind. I don't even know what to expect, but I imagine there are beggars inside of the store with garish blue revolving lights spinning everywhere and maybe klaxons to go with them. In other words, as little Owen said: "scariest environment imaginable."
I wish I could bring a trusted friend with me inside of the store with whom I'd feel protected, but I doubt Rocky will fit through the aisles. You can see, dear reader, why I need a butler, or some kind of man-servant. I'll try to treat it as an adventure, but if you don't hear from me in a week's time, send help, please.
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